At the time of brexit I couldn't help felling that this tree, in my village, with the tips of its branches turned upwards in what looks like both one-finger and two-finger salutes, looks like brexit. So I wrote a thing.
The Brexit Tree is an Ye Olde Englishe Oake Tree in Wales, England, dating from the Court of King Arthur, back in ye oldene dayes. It was brought to life after its ground was watered when Merlin the Wizard the Man the Legend had a few too many at Ye Olde Wither’d Spoon in Carmarthen town centre, and on his way home had to go for an urgent wazz at the corner of Oak Lane and Priory Street.
The
Brexit Tree was that soon sprouted was then carefully tended and nurtured with
lies and poison by a long line of leaky wizards, pigamists, zombies, man-frogs,
Honey Monsters, Govelins, haunted pencils, and right-wing political activists
posing as neutral reporters at the BBC.
The Brexit Tree grew tall and strong and voted to leave the European Union because it was tired of being ruled by foreigners and wanted its Empire back.
The Brexit Tree likes to tell Remoaners that they lost and should “get over it” while doing V-signs like the archers at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415.
The Brexit Tree has been complaining about Political Correctness and snowflakes since the abolition of the slave trade, but wants to ban the word “gammon” because it is racist against white people.
The Brexit Tree stole the EU Referendum and yet is still angrier than the people it has cheated out of their rights of citizenship and free movement.
The Brexit Tree has been doing V-signs at the EU continuously for over 40 years, but if anyone criticizes it then it will shake its twigs in righteous fury.
The Brexit Tree likes to make impossible and contradictory demands and then blame Remoaners, the EU, and brown people when it doesn't get what it wants.
The Brexit Tree is sick and tired of Remoaners boring on about LeaveUK being found guilty of overspending and being referred to the police for illegally funding BeLeave with money from sources with connections to Vladimir Putin and various Nazi groups because we must respect Democracy and theVolksgemeinschaft Will of the People.
The Brexit Tree is sick and tired of Remoaners boring on about the Nazi Posters, the murder of Jo Cox, the hate crimes, the “Traitor” headlines, the lies on the bus and all over the internet because there was bad behavior By Both Sides.
The Brexit Tree is sick and tired of elitist academic and business experts with their facts and experience and has a feeling in its trunk that all will be fine and the landlord at the Spoon says so and he’s rich and a bit of a ledge and so knows what he’s talking about, even though he can’t afford any seats for the pub or get any more supplies of Uberstrongen Pisstenmeister Blindenlaager.
The Brexit Tree isn’t scared of a No Deal Brexit because it stood alone in 1940 and single-handedly won the battles of Dunkirk and Deeday.
The Brexit Tree angrily points out that it didn’t fight in World War II to be dominated by Europe, which is true because it didn’t fight in World War II and isn’t dominated by Europe.
The Brexit Tree is standing on the White Cliffs of Dover doing furious V-signs at all its forrins and is looking forward to the world’s embrace of Global Britain.
The Brexit Tree doesn’t yet realize that for many centuries it’s been lied to and poisoned by pigamists, zombies, man-frogs, Honey Monsters, Govelins, haunted pencils, and right-wing political activists posing as neutral reporters at the BBC, or that very soon indeed it will be too late to save itself from the terrible fate that awaits it.
For the Secret Plan all along has been that the Brexit Tree will be chopped down for firewood to warm the massive and hideous arse of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.
Goodbye, Brexit Tree.
The End.
The Brexit Tree grew tall and strong and voted to leave the European Union because it was tired of being ruled by foreigners and wanted its Empire back.
The Brexit Tree likes to tell Remoaners that they lost and should “get over it” while doing V-signs like the archers at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415.
The Brexit Tree has been complaining about Political Correctness and snowflakes since the abolition of the slave trade, but wants to ban the word “gammon” because it is racist against white people.
The Brexit Tree stole the EU Referendum and yet is still angrier than the people it has cheated out of their rights of citizenship and free movement.
The Brexit Tree has been doing V-signs at the EU continuously for over 40 years, but if anyone criticizes it then it will shake its twigs in righteous fury.
The Brexit Tree likes to make impossible and contradictory demands and then blame Remoaners, the EU, and brown people when it doesn't get what it wants.
The Brexit Tree is sick and tired of Remoaners boring on about LeaveUK being found guilty of overspending and being referred to the police for illegally funding BeLeave with money from sources with connections to Vladimir Putin and various Nazi groups because we must respect Democracy and the
The Brexit Tree is sick and tired of Remoaners boring on about the Nazi Posters, the murder of Jo Cox, the hate crimes, the “Traitor” headlines, the lies on the bus and all over the internet because there was bad behavior By Both Sides.
The Brexit Tree is sick and tired of elitist academic and business experts with their facts and experience and has a feeling in its trunk that all will be fine and the landlord at the Spoon says so and he’s rich and a bit of a ledge and so knows what he’s talking about, even though he can’t afford any seats for the pub or get any more supplies of Uberstrongen Pisstenmeister Blindenlaager.
The Brexit Tree isn’t scared of a No Deal Brexit because it stood alone in 1940 and single-handedly won the battles of Dunkirk and Deeday.
The Brexit Tree angrily points out that it didn’t fight in World War II to be dominated by Europe, which is true because it didn’t fight in World War II and isn’t dominated by Europe.
The Brexit Tree is standing on the White Cliffs of Dover doing furious V-signs at all its forrins and is looking forward to the world’s embrace of Global Britain.
The Brexit Tree doesn’t yet realize that for many centuries it’s been lied to and poisoned by pigamists, zombies, man-frogs, Honey Monsters, Govelins, haunted pencils, and right-wing political activists posing as neutral reporters at the BBC, or that very soon indeed it will be too late to save itself from the terrible fate that awaits it.
For the Secret Plan all along has been that the Brexit Tree will be chopped down for firewood to warm the massive and hideous arse of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.
Goodbye, Brexit Tree.
The End.
No comments:
Post a Comment